Happy Monday Friends ☀️
I'm sorry I missed posting last week. It was one of those crazy ones. I will come around and catch up with you all this week.
I hope you had a lovely weekend. It was a really nice one here. I had a fun lunching and shopping day with my Mom on Friday. And then yesterday Annie and I celebrated Father's Day with my Dad and step Mom, my brother and SIL, and my son and his gf came over too. We were supposed to BBQ but it rained, so I just made all the dishes inside. We played games and caught up. And gave my Dad his gifts. We're all fully vaccinated and it has felt so nice to have everything be so much more normal. The kiddos did spend the earlier part of their day with Adam and his Dad and brother.
I'll be honest that holidays are still really difficult and sad for me. It feels like half of me is missing yet. I imagine it may take me a really long time to stop feeling that way after sharing 30 years with someone. I know I have shared a little of my dating journey here, but I broke up with the more recent Scott I was dating about a month ago. I knew he wasn't the one and the distance was going to be difficult. I've also been doing therapy and it's helped me realize I still have a lot of unresolved things inside of me that I need to keep addressing. Grief is such a tricky thing. And I've realized that I'd been making choices and dating etc to numb things. To tell myself that I'm fine. But I now know I've just been running from dealing with quite a bit of pain yet inside. So this summer I have decided to stop running and turn and face the pain head on. It's been kinda brutal. A lot of crying, hurting, reflecting, - but also within that I'm healing and growing. I want to do whatever I need to get to a truly healthy place...so I don't bring my baggage and pain into a new relationship. I thank you, my friends, so much for letting me share some of those parts of me in this space. I treasure your support, kindness and friendship... and I will always welcome prayers for healing too. 😊
THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS:
ON THE BREAKFAST PLATE THIS MORNING
toast with raspberry jam, fried egg, vanilla iced coffee
ON MY TO DO LIST:
Annie has hockey summer camp now - and so taking her back & forth to practices twice a week. Get together with my Mom and step Dad to do belated Father's Day with him. Let out my bro's dogs. Meeting up with an old friend. Granite people coming to do precise measurements. Errands. Work on family reunion stuff.
AS I LOOK AROUND THE HOUSE
It's so nice and clean & tidy from hosting yesterday. I got yesterday's dishes all cleaned up early after my workout. The windows are open because it's cooler today and I love hearing the wind in the trees.
Looking in the kitchen reminds me that my son and his gf come over at least once a week for dinner and to hang out. Might be coming over tonight for home cooked pasta dinner. 😋
I have been jumping between some end of life doula literature I recently picked up, and a book about ending long term relationships that goes in tandem with my therapy
ON THE TV TODAY:
The Bachelorette, AGT (I have both of these taped but really behind in each), The Chase, The Hustler, (the kids and I like to watch these shows together), I've been binge watching some vlogs on youtube but mostly bingeing the Handmaids Tale on Hulu. I have some movies taped as well.
ON THE MENU THIS WEEK:
Since it's mainly Annie and I, there is so much less formal cooking going on to really share a weekly menu right now. So instead I will try to share a recipe here each week.
Today I wanted to share this really yummy gluten free pie I made for Father's Day. My Dad is fairly gluten free because it's recommended (although he doesn't have a severe allergy). And my bro does have an allergy and so is also gf. This pie turned out great and was so delish. I found a ready made gf graham cracker crust at the grocery store. But the directions include for making a regular graham crust:
NO BAKE SPRING BERRY PIE
TO RELAX THIS WEEK I WILL:
read outside, walk with Ruby, play games with my kids, zoom with girlfriends, journal, scrapbook
TIPS OR SOMETHING TO SHARE:
I saw this tip on tik tok from a gal that used to work for Martha Stewart. I always wondered why when I clip hydrangeas they only last about a day in the house. She said there is a protein in hydrangeas that don't allow the stems to drink water fully. So if you dip the steps in alum first it neutralizes that protein and the hydrangeas will then drink the water. I'm excited to try this once my hydrangeas bloom!
FROM THE CAMERA:
I love this pic I caught of my daughter and her friend out painting in the back yard
Having a lot of fun creating this heritage album for an upcoming family reunion - will share more when it's completed ✂️
Is there any smell more wonderful than fresh cut lilacs? And I love this hand made vase I found to put them in. I've been using a lot of green to decorate for summer 💚
I'm still getting a taste of home box every 3 months and this box had so many fun goodies - including another great cookbook and some fun tools. I was especially excited about the easy mandoline and julienne peeler.
Ruby loves the new couch downstairs 💕
Facebook memories keep hitting me in the "feels" I still miss my MIL every day. She was such a best friend in my life.
I am a work in progress, but I am determined to heal and grow into the woman I'm meant to be for this second chapter of my life. 🙏
I pray for an end to this virus. For peace, healing and unity in our world. I pray for anyone sick, suffering, isolated, and afraid - for their peace and comfort. Please Lord give strength to those fighting the virus on the frontlines. 🙏 And may the vaccines continue to help the numbers go down and life continue to become more normal. For my continued healing. For an Uncle with a recent cancer diagnosis.