Friday, February 6, 2015

Fab-ruary Day 6: the Coolest Thing I Ever Saw (& why)

Day6

 

 

 

For my Fab-ruary post today Helen gave me the perfect prompt to share my special story. I've been cautious about wanting to share it as my situation was different than many folks' typical situation, and it's so special to me that maybe I've been worried about being judged or something.  But I'm ready now.


The Fab-ruary prompt is what is the coolest thing you've ever seen. Well for me it is the birth of my daughter because I got a front row seat to the whole thing. How is that possible do you ask? Well here's my story - buckle up it's not short:


When I was pregnant with my son almost 15 years ago I had several complications. I wish I could say the day he was born it was joyful and wonderful, but it wasn't. It was actually kind of a nightmare.  He was born almost 7 weeks early and I almost died...a few times.  Then even after he was born I still had several complications, suffered depression and anxiety, had to be on medication. Basically his first year of life was kind of a blur. However, there were many good moments in there too. I felt so blessed to have him - that we were both alive - and to have such wonderful support from medical professionals, my hubby, and our families. It turned into a very happy ending.


Until I was told that with fair certainty that I should not do that again...meaning  I would have no more children. This was harder for me than anything. There was a lot of leaning on my faith, a lot of prayer and soul searching, some very hard dark days. Then my hubby's brother and his wife approached us that they would like to carry a baby for us. At that point my sis-in-law had only had one child...although in about as wonderful and easy a fashion as you can have a baby. She's also about 10 years younger than I am & I was 29 when I had my son.


My hubby and I felt we couldn't ask that of anyone so we declined and said we would adopt. We felt blessed to have our son and I felt so blessed that I was at least able to know what it was like to be pregnant and have gone through that - even with the difficulties at the end. As time went by we discovered a new complication - we could not agree on our adoption plan. I very adamantly wanted to do domestic adoption and know everything about the child's health and background - even get to know the birth parents. My hubby very adamantly wanted to adopt internationally in a very far off country with no connection or knowledge of birth parents - EVER.  So more tears, prayer etc. At this point my sis-in-law had their 2nd child...again in an incredibly easy fashion. And they approached us again. This time we listened and talked for hours over every scenario and talked to our families and got their thoughts. Everyone thought it was wonderful and so supportive. So we started going to a fertility clinic and after a lot of not easy events (my SIL and I had to do injections in our abdomen daily and other fun things) - including 2 failed attempts our daughter Annie was placed in my SIL's womb - and took! So she is our biological child but, as we've always told Annie her story, her Auntie "cooked" her for us.


The day she was born was absolutely amazing! My SIL made it look so incredibly easy. My hubby bought us both large bouquets of roses - the room smelled like flowers, we were all joking around and had to tell my SIL to stop laughing so she could push and literally 20 mins later there was our daughter. I was able to be present, feel good, and witness every second with a front row seat. Through my blurry tears I was able to cut the cord. It was the coolest, most beautiful, precious moment I have ever seen in my life. My BIL and SIL, the fertility clinic folks and medical professionals are all angels to us and were so amazing!!


Now 8 &1/2 years later our daughter is healthy and still just our miracle. My SIL has gone on to deliver 3 more kids of their own (so they have 5 now!) and everyone lived happily ever after - except when Annie and her big brother fight. Lol! So that is my special story and the coolest thing I've ever seen. I think the why is pretty obvious. Thanks for letting me share.  Here's some photos but I took them quickly out of the baby scrapbooks so please excuse them if they're not the clearest:



My son was a preemie and weighed only 4 pounds when he was born and at his smallest was 3 pounds 9 ounces. You can see he fit right in my hubby's hands.
 
 

After implantation my SIL had to be on bed rest for 24 hours
 
 


Here's some belly shots. My favorite is on the bottom of my son hugging the belly.
 
 

This was at a baby shower for us. My SIL and I often joked that at doctor's appointments we must look kind of like a lesbian couple. To be funny sometimes I would joke to people as I rubbed her belly "she's having my baby" - but then of course explain. Lol  Sometimes humor is the best way to get through difficult and awkward moments, right?
 
 
 

We did it!! Whew!!!
 
 
 

Big brother Aaron making sure his baby sister is "working right"
 
 
 

One of my favorite photos after we brought Annie home. Those boys didn't know what to make of her.

I'm linking with I Will Bloom for Fab-ruary Day 6.

21 comments:

  1. That is for sure the coolest thing! I love this, and I love your SIL for doing this too,

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  2. Carrie, I'm absolutely amazed at the gesture of your SIL, to offer to do this, what genuine selflessness and kindness. Wow. Am humbled and in awe of your story and am so, so pleased you were able to have the second child you so wanted. Am truly awe struck. And honoured that you would share this in response to my prompt.

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    1. We truly have a special story and are blessed with such a wonderful family! We made the arrangement with my BIL and SIL that we'd only agree to it if we were able to compensate them monetarily, which they finally agreed. No less generous - but felt a little better about things. And of course they are Annie's godparents. ;) xo

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    2. How sweet, so sweet that they are her godparents....I feel even more strongly that you are a wonderful, wonderful person now xxx

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  3. What a beautiful story of family love and devotion, Carrie! I love this story and I can see why you chose this as the coolest thing! Children are so precious and even more so when they come into our world in miraculous ways. (Not that every birth is not miraculous, but you know what I mean!) My daughter and son-in-law just went through a failed in-vitro and it was very heartbreaking for them. Your sister-in-law is a very special person to give you and your family such a gift. Such a lovely story. I love happy endings! Hugs xo Karen

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    1. Sometimes I'm still amazed how it all worked out. I guess the best thing I can say to that is: God is good!! And yes, my BIL and SIL were amazing and they were compensated for their wonderful act (only way we'd agree to do it).

      I feel so much for your daughter and son in law - I can completely empathize. The 2 failed attempts we had were devastating to go through and I had no expectation that our last try would work. I just planned on heading back to the adoption drawing board - but then the miracle happened and I thank God every day for her. I will send up prayers for your kiddos and hope it will work for them!!

      Happy endings truly are the best. xoxo

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  4. Wow, what an amazing, happy story! Your sister-in-law is indeed a special person to have carried Annie for you, that's an incredibly selfless act. Really lovely! xxx

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    1. It truly was a living miracle to me - and I'm still grateful every day and thank God most of all for being so blessed!!

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  5. Thanks for sharing...what an amazing story. I love the pic of you and your angels!! That one photo captures the story so beautifully. It amazes me how pregnancies are so different from woman to woman, but yet in the end there's always a miracle, and proof that our children are a precious gift. xx

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    1. It's so true Carrie - every one has a unique story to tell and every single one is an amazing gift. I truly felt like I was blessed with a miracle. It's unbelievable to me the strides that have been made in the field of science and modern medicine.

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  6. What a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing it with us as your "coolest" thing ever...it surely is! You are blessed with a SIL and her hubby who were willing to do this for you...you are blessed with your little girl (and son!!) and they are blessed with FIVE!!! Loved this story!!! And the picture with your son hugging the belly...PRICELESS!!

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    1. Aw - thanks Barbara! Yes, we joke that my SIL is a baby machine!! If anyone was made to bring kiddos into this world it's her. We are all so blessed as a family and God is truly the miracle behind it all. He is so good and I'm grateful every day!!

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  7. What an amazing and touching story, Carrie! Some years ago, I offered the same to my sister and her husband when they could not have children although they tried for many years. They declined and talked about adoption. Then he passed away. But I would have been more than happy to carry a child for them. I had my boy and girl and was done for my family. It is a wonderful gift your brother and sister-in-law gave you and I'm sure you have a wonderful bond with them.

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    1. Wow Kathy - what a story. That speaks volumes about the person you are dear Gal. What I went through with my in-laws...though hard at times...was so special and did create a bond that remains in my heart forever. And my Annie has an extra special godmother. ;) God bless. xoxo

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  8. This is quite a story Carrie, and one I will never forget. You are so very fortunate to have such a loving, selfless family, but I'm sure you know that. Your daughter must share a special bond with her Aunt as well.

    Thank you so much for sharing this inspiring story of love!

    xxx

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    1. Our story still at times amazes me! I'm so blown away by what science is able to do - but of course mostly by the act of loved ones to help us like they did. You hear more of these stories all of the time and it gives me hope in our world. And the special place in my heart for my in-laws and especially what my SIL did will be there forever. Thanks Hon - have a good weekend. xo

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  9. Wow!!! That really is the most amazing and cool thing ever!!! What a wonderful thing for your SIL and BIL to have done. Totally wonderful and incredibly kind of them. An amazing way for you to have your lovely children and a great family all together! Thank you for sharing this story with us, it is incredibly kind of you. xx

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    1. Aw - thanks Amy! I feel like I have found such a wonderful group of friends (which I always consider the family I get to pick) through blogging now and I feel blessed in the gifts I have been given and love sharing it with you folks. xoxo

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  10. What an amazing thing your SIL has done for your family. This is the sweetest, coolest and biggest blessing of a story. You are also right that humor can get you through some of the tougher situations! Annie is truly a gift from God via your SIL.

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  11. Oh Carrie, I was crying then laughing at the same time! What a great extended family you have!!! Birthing babies and caring for Grandma together!
    That SIL needs a parent's night out! LOL I always said, I only have 2 hands.
    Margot

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